Trust 30: Day 19
What kind of person do I want to be?
I pulled this question out of the entire prompt which was centered on using intuition to face fear. I think one of our greatest challenges in this life is to face our fears otherwise we can become so paralyzed by them that we can no longer act. I know this to be true because I have been intimately involved with this feeling. Ultimately, I’ve had to ask myself this question. Several times.
I want to be the kind of person who doesn’t retreat when afraid. And I want to be a person who trusts others to help me when I ask for it. Further, I want to be a person who asks for help.
I want to be the kind of person who people can rely on. And most importantly, my children can rely on. I want to be their lighthouse and for them to know that their home is wherever I am. My intuition has always been spot on when it has come to my children. The one time I didn’t follow it, my son rolled off the bed and landed in a laundry basket. I was horrified my baby — who hadn’t ever rolled in his little life before — had rolled into dirty laundry. Luckily, I hadn’t done any laundry yet for the day! I’ve always followed my intuition since that day, and used it as an excuse to put off laundry.
I want to be a charitable person, somebody who is known to give without thinking of a payout. I don’t really believe in karma, but I do believe in being a good person. Also, I want to show my kids that being service-oriented is the right way to be.
I want to be a loving person, somebody who cares for people and gives them the benefit of the doubt. I know I can’t combat prejudice alone, but I want my children to see that we shouldn’t categorize people — just seem them as who they are.
I know there will be times that my instinct will be to be afraid. And to hide in my fears. But I also know that if I continuously work on who and what I want to be for myself and my family that I wan’t want to be paralyzed anymore. Because lastly, I want my kids to remember me as being strong.
Greatness appeals to the future. If I can be firm enough to-day to do right, and scorn eyes, I must have done so much right before as to defend me now. Be it how it will, do right now. Always scorn appearances, and you always may.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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