When I grow up

Trust 30:  Day 19
What kind of person do I want to be?

I pulled this question out of the entire prompt which was centered on using intuition to face fear.  I think one of our greatest challenges in this life is to face our fears otherwise we can become so paralyzed by them that we can no longer act.  I know this to be true because I have been intimately involved with this feeling.  Ultimately, I’ve had to ask myself this question.  Several times.

I want to be the kind of person who doesn’t retreat when afraid.  And I want to be a person who trusts others to help me when I ask for it.  Further, I want to be a person who asks for help.  

I want to be the kind of person who people can rely on.  And most importantly, my children can rely on.  I want to be their lighthouse and for them to know that their home is wherever I am.  My intuition has always been spot on when it has come to my children.  The one time I didn’t follow it, my son rolled off the bed and landed in a laundry basket.  I was horrified my baby — who hadn’t ever rolled in his little life before — had rolled into dirty laundry.  Luckily, I hadn’t done any laundry yet for the day!  I’ve always followed my intuition since that day, and used it as an excuse to put off laundry.

I want to be a charitable person, somebody who is known to give without thinking of a payout.  I don’t really believe in karma, but I do believe in being a good person.  Also, I want to show my kids that being service-oriented is the right way to be.  

I want to be a loving person, somebody who cares for people and gives them the benefit of the doubt.  I know I can’t combat prejudice alone, but I want my children to see that we shouldn’t categorize people — just seem them as who they are.  

I know there will be times that my instinct will be to be afraid.  And to hide in my fears.  But I also know that if I continuously work on who and what I want to be for myself and my family that I wan’t want to be paralyzed anymore.  Because lastly, I want my kids to remember me as being strong.

Greatness appeals to the future. If I can be firm enough to-day to do right, and scorn eyes, I must have done so much right before as to defend me now. Be it how it will, do right now. Always scorn appearances, and you always may.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

C. Streetlights
Latest posts by C. Streetlights (see all)

Published by C. Streetlights

I wrote and illustrated my first bestseller, "The Lovely Unicorn" in the second grade and I've been terrified of success ever since. Published by ShadowTeamsNYC and represented by Lisa Hagen Books