In years past I have said I’d take my new-found laughter into the next year, or I would take my new-found appreciation for this or that. Those all remain true. I add to this list: soul. I take into 2013 my soul, my deep and passionate soul, never to be left behind again. I’ve discovered my soul resonates through my house and makes it a home. It echoes through my home’s hallways and attaches itself to every knick-knack and meal I make. My soul hugs my children and holds them as they sleep and brushes their hair as they wake in the morning. My soul is every thread of every network sewn together.
My soul glows and dances. It anticipates the new year with excitement even as it wrings its hands in nervousness — it is a mother’s soul, after all. But at night, when it has finally tucked the home into bed, and checked every light and lock, it falls to sleep, smiling, knowing that it is happy. Content, even.
Content. What a peaceful word.
My soul will welcome 2013, quietly, watching the sun rise on that new day, with hope and love and all the good things. But mostly, my soul will feel gratitude, for being the mother of her two little beans. It’s a rush of motherhood during the day, of homework and bath time, of errands and chores, and scolding! Yes, there is scolding. My beans are not perfect. Though, in a way they are. Each one different yet the same.
When the new year comes, we will celebrate the usual way. Family will be over for fireworks and hot chocolate. We will blow up the gingerbread house (safely). We will raise quite the ruckus. There will be laughter. So much laughter it will hurt. And my soul will delight in all of it. It will take snapshots of memories and hold them tight. It will keep my heart company and toast the new year in that night. But once everyone leaves, I will tuck my children into bed, wish them Happy New Year, and my soul will rest happily.
And silently wish 2013 welcome.
Published by ShadowTeamsNYC and represented by Lisa Hagen Books
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*happy sigh.* Yes. Isn’t it funny how we spend so much time worrying about our brains and our bodies, but not that ethereal, intangible thing that sorta holds the whole mess together?? Thanks for calling my attention back to it. Loved this post.
Yes, we are a whole mess that needs to be held together! What a perfect way to describe it. Thank you, Noel!