I’ve become protective of my time. I am cautious of saying ‘yes’ to any responsibility that would mean saying ‘no’ to my family. I’ve learned from others in my life that it is too easy to fill up my schedule with so many activities and obligations that it will send the message to my family that they are not important to me — that other people or activities are more important to me than they are. I never want them to feel that way. I have felt this way in the past and it is not what I want my children to to have this second-best feeling as part of their childhood memories.
And yet, I still have room for improvement. I find myself getting consumed by negative energy, by people who suck my energy from me. It doesn’t start out that way, of course. It always starts out as relationships where, for some reason, I end up being the person who needs to help the other one. I will always be tending extra children, or taking late night phone calls, or changing plans so I can accommodate the other person’s schedule — and while I love to do these things for friends when situations come up, it can become exhausting. And toxic.
This upcoming year I intend to be more judicious with my friendships, with my time with them, and the boundaries I set with them. I cannot let my time be used up by negativity and toxicity. It takes up too much room in my soul. I will sweep up that doorstep and only welcome in what will improve my time and relationships.