Running before walking. And back again.

Try.  What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? 
What happened when you did/didn’t go for it?

All through 2010 I wanted to get back to running.  I say this with a little bit of a sneer because I wasn’t ever a real runner to begin with.  I was a fake runner.  I was able to get into a decent enough shape to run one 5K.  I say this with another sneer.  A Sneer (capital “S”) because that 5K was a pathetic display of human performance.  My goal was to finish.  That was it.  Just finish.  I didn’t care about any particular time and I walked for most of it, talking with a friend who hadn’t trained at all. I could have run the entire way if I chose to do so, but fearing what would happen if I tried I just walked instead.  I ran the last block and I finished with a time of just under 44 minutes.

Not the greatest, but pretty good for somebody who never ran unless she was being chased. 

All this was in 2009.  I never really ran again since then.  All my running since 2009 has been in my head, and by now I’m a marathoner.  This past year however, I’ve wanted to run more.  In fact I would look at my treadmill and think how much I’ve missed it.  I think.

In this upcoming year I want to get back to running, the real running. I’m through with the marathons in my head and running from the internal ghosts.  I want to get back to the real and tangible physical goals I make as I challenge myself.  When I ran that 5K (okay walked) there were moments when I could feel and hear my own heart beat; I could feel warm in spite of the snow that fell around me – because of course it began to snow.

I felt alive even when I felt like I was dying.  And I want to experience it all over again.  
C. Streetlights
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Published by C. Streetlights

I wrote and illustrated my first bestseller, "The Lovely Unicorn" in the second grade and I've been terrified of success ever since. Published by ShadowTeamsNYC and represented by Lisa Hagen Books

One thought on “Running before walking. And back again.”

  1. yes. that is why i run.

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