Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010?
What happened when you did/didn’t go for it?
All through 2010 I wanted to get back to running. I say this with a little bit of a sneer because I wasn’t ever a real runner to begin with. I was a fake runner. I was able to get into a decent enough shape to run one 5K. I say this with another sneer. A Sneer (capital “S”) because that 5K was a pathetic display of human performance. My goal was to finish. That was it. Just finish. I didn’t care about any particular time and I walked for most of it, talking with a friend who hadn’t trained at all. I could have run the entire way if I chose to do so, but fearing what would happen if I tried I just walked instead. I ran the last block and I finished with a time of just under 44 minutes.
Not the greatest, but pretty good for somebody who never ran unless she was being chased.
All this was in 2009. I never really ran again since then. All my running since 2009 has been in my head, and by now I’m a marathoner. This past year however, I’ve wanted to run more. In fact I would look at my treadmill and think how much I’ve missed it. I think.
In this upcoming year I want to get back to running, the real running. I’m through with the marathons in my head and running from the internal ghosts. I want to get back to the real and tangible physical goals I make as I challenge myself. When I ran that 5K (okay walked) there were moments when I could feel and hear my own heart beat; I could feel warm in spite of the snow that fell around me – because of course it began to snow.
I felt alive even when I felt like I was dying. And I want to experience it all over again.