Trust30:  Day12
Is fear holding you back from living your fullest life and being truly self expressed? 
Can you be happy being anything less than who you really are?
Now Do. The Thing. You Fear.

I shortened the original prompt for this because, frankly, I found a lot of it to be a little on the cheesy side.  Everybody’s life experience, and fear experience, to be different.  And also, it is somewhat impossible to simplistically to overcome a fear after writing one blog post.  Some of the fears I have, which are far too personal to write about, are fears that I have been dealing with for years.  To write about something like this in a short posting and then say, Oh I feel so empowered; I feel as if I can conquer this right now, this week or in this time span! Is disingenuous.  And while I respect the tone and spirit the prompt in which it was given, I will tweak it just the same.

However, I am intrigued by the question, “Can you be happy being anything less than who you really are?”  I’ve been thinking about this for the last couple days.  I think that, really, I probably could.  The reason would be this:  We are constantly changing as people.  Because of this constant change, we can’t ever really determine, with finite definition, who we are meant to be or not be.  We can only choose to be happy or unhappy at any given time.  Happiness is a choice; it’s always a choice.  So is misery.  So is joy.  There have been times in my life, doing what I thought I was Meant To Be.  Doing what I thought was My Calling.  And I was happy.  However, later in my life, doing that very same thing became a personal hell.  Due to the choices of others inflicted upon me, it became a nightmare of Dante’s imagination.  I was choosing to be as happy as I could, but I also chose to leave when the chance came.

Was I happy?  Not at first.  At first I was miserable.  I thought I had left my dream.  What I was supposed to be doing for my whole life.  I was angry.  Even spiteful.  Maybe I will go back someday, but not now.  Why? Because I realized that existence became my identity.  I allowed it to become my whole life and this whole concept of what was making happy wasn’t real.

I should be happy from altruistic reasons.  What is the source of my altruism?  Wherever I might be at the moment, in the moment.  Not from a job.  I am the master of my joy and happiness.  So yes, I can be anything being less than who I really am, because there is no such thing as being less than who I really am.  I define my quantity, the sum of me, and what I equal out to be. And I am more than plenty.

These are the voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world. Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. 

~~Ralph Waldo Emerson
C. Streetlights
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Published by C. Streetlights

I wrote and illustrated my first bestseller, "The Lovely Unicorn" in the second grade and I've been terrified of success ever since. Published by ShadowTeamsNYC and represented by Lisa Hagen Books

One thought on “Plenty”

  1. jo miller says:

    I will try to honour your honesty, 'your well written,on the edge,'here I am' accept or not…this is not a debate, this is not acrimonious ~ this is me, writing,responding because I can & I believe in me ,right here,right now -just as I am.'
    I admire that strength,I feel that step you have taken-it was not easy. You chose to develop this lovely creature–you.
    I am in awe.
    This is how I envision freedom. Freedom from "expected perfection" laughing,grinning,smiling at the simple things & sometimes at the most complicated tests of life
    today I was a bit glum at the Dr.'s office & this lovely bucket of love & joy came in, & the lessons she taught & the gifts she offered in under 10 mins. changed me, in an instant.
    You. Ms. Streetlights offer the same to us – your combination of age old wisdom.common sense & outstanding quick wit, help to change us, helping to make us all that & more.
    love & respect * sweet prayers for Jelly Bean, you & your blessed family
    love jo xo

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