No Lists, Just Breathing

C. Streetlights

#Reverb15: Day 1
What sorts of lists do you have on the go at the moment? What do they suggest you are praying for?

C. Streetlights no lists still breathingI was once a list maker, back when I counted hours like minutes, when each day was divided into lesson plans and meeting agendas. Meeting agendas became someone else’s personal agendas, lists became impossible measuring tapes spiraling around my throat, choking me. Any item checked off became one more piece of evidence entered against me.

Lists are a part of my old life. I tossed them with my red pens and Post-it notes. My Palm Pilot became my baby’s first phone.

I can’t live my life according to a list anymore. I don’t want to see neatly itemized columns with bulleted plans pointing me towards a prescribed life path. And even if I know the list is an implied suggestion, I don’t want the pressure of crossing things off or determining what will be postponed until another time.

I now only think in possibilities and probabilities. I breathe my hopes in and breathe my fears out. Somewhere between the transfer of air I begin to believe again. I believe my second book will be born in 2016. I believe I’ll be a better mother, a stronger woman, a better advocate, a better friend. No lists, just breathing.

 


This prompt is part of the Reverb15 reflective writing challenge. You are welcome to dive in at any time! If you’re catching up, you can check out all prompts so far in the Reverb archive.
C. Streetlights
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Published by C. Streetlights

I wrote and illustrated my first bestseller, "The Lovely Unicorn" in the second grade and I've been terrified of success ever since. Published by ShadowTeamsNYC and represented by Lisa Hagen Books

2 thoughts on “No Lists, Just Breathing”

  1. I love this. I love the simplicity and yet the profoundness of it. 🙂

    1. Thank you, Tracy. Something like a list is probably not a “big deal” to most people, but they are just a vortex to another time for me 🙂

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