moments

#Reverb11
A moment in time. Tell us about one moment that you lived in 2011 that you will neverforget.
There were moments of this last year that have felt like thelone sock lost in the wilderness – the missing sock that seems to lose it’spartner in the dryer and is never found again. I feel that way about parts of 2011. There is the entire month of June, for example, that I spent loaded onmorphine to stop contractions.  June justkind of fluttered away with ever kick and roll in my belly. 
But then there are other moments.  Moments that are permanently attached to myheart as if they are new chambers for my blood to pulse through.  Three in particular.
Moment one?  I wasdying while my baby was fighting to arrive early.  I was being prepped for surgery, the epiduralwas in and I could no longer breathe.  Myvision was fading, my hands were turning white. I was gasping.  I could see thescreen with my blood pressure.  Down,down, down the numbers were falling. Past that screen I could see the monitor for my baby.  The little etches showing her heart rate andher contractions.  Moving around, constantlymoving.  I could hear her heart beating.  My hands were grasping the hand rail.  Tears were falling.  I had to be here for my kids.  I finally whispered, “I can’t breathe.  Is this normal?”  Shots of epinephrine.  I was back. The chain around my heart fell away and my eyes never left my baby’sheartbeat.
The second?  When thebaby was born she was taken to NICU straight away because her lung was filledwith fluid.  She was immediately put on arespirator and I couldn’t swoop her into my arms and keep her there.  I couldn’t hold her for about threedays.  All I could do was hold her littlehands or her feet.  My heart ached.  Finally, the moment came when the tubes cameout of her lung and I could hold her in my arms.
 Finally.  The worldheld still and my girl was where she belonged. She curled up against me, skin against skin, and quickly fell back tosleep again after taking a deep breath against me.  We rocked and rocked and rocked.  The stars turned into little bells that nightand chimed just for us.  They’re chimingstill if you listen just right.

And the last?  My sonwasn’t able to see his little sister for many days during her stay in theNICU.  He was allowed one quick firstvisit after she was born and then he was ushered out.  The NICU policy is no sibling visits untilthe weekend and only after immunization records are submitted.  Sadly for him, the baby was born on aSaturday and we didn’t have a chance to submit his records in time.  He had to wait the whole week and was dyingto see his sister.  He was soanxious.  Finally, the weekend rolledaround and a partnership was formed for eternity.
My world in one spot, entwined with one another.  My boy loves his sister with his whole littlebody and then some.  He fed her androcked her.  He sang to her and promisedher the moon.  If I know him the way Ido, he will figure out how to deliver it to her, too. 


These three moments, I will never forget them. My bloodpulses through them, rushing, and helps me live. 



Latest posts by C. Streetlights (see all)

Published by C. Streetlights

I wrote and illustrated my first bestseller, "The Lovely Unicorn" in the second grade and I've been terrified of success ever since. Published by ShadowTeamsNYC and represented by Lisa Hagen Books

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8 thoughts on “moments”

  1. Tracy says:

    There is nothing like the birth of your child. I still look back at the birth of my little girl and can feel the warmth and love of that room – that night. So precious. So wonderful. Blessings to you. Great post. Thank you for sharing!

  2. lolasangria says:

    oh my god, the look in your eyes and on your face in that first picture is astounding. thank you for sharing this amazing story with us, and congratulations on your beautiful child!

  3. mujerzen says:

    ok, here I am just crying and smiling and loving you and your family. I remember sending you love, praying, wishing for all the best for you and still I didn't realize all you were going through. I couldn't even imagine it. I love you.

  4. Sara Rose says:

    Ohh my word. I'm just sitting here crying. How lovely to read. How lovely that you're all here and that our paths crossed. You're so blessed with those babies and you're life. 🙂 ,3

  5. mark says:

    I am so beyond happy for you, My Friend. And that picture of your children? Love…

  7. Michael says:

    This is why men don't have babies; my heart is racing, just hearing the story. Quite a moment; three moments.

  8. Jason says:

    What a powerful story. I am glad that there was a happy ending all the way around. Thank you for sharing.

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