It’s not me. It’s you.

As I had said in the beginning of the Trust30 challenge, Ichose to participate because I needed inspiration.  I needed a kick in the pants to get mewriting again.  I thought daily promptsdelivered to my email every day was exactly what I needed – especially since Ihad such a greatly rewarding experience with Reverb10.  However, I found the exact opposite. 

The prompts were tedious. Repetitious.  I would let a day orthree pass before writing to them and find myself playing catch-up.  I tried to squint my eyes hard and look atthe prompt in other ways so I could be inspired in a personal way.  I placed the onus on me.  It had to me. Why wasn’t I having a good experience with this challenge? 

I looked at the prompts at their totality.  I turned them over in my hands and held themup in the light.  I watched the walls tosee the rainbows that the prompts’ prisms would make yet nothing appeared.  Nothing. It didn’t seem to matter how many times I turned these prompts orflipped them or caught the light in a different way, nothing appeared.  No light refraction, no rainbow.  No hidden beauty to be displayed.

I love Emerson and I love his inspiration in seeking out theIndividual.  I honored him the best Icould in Trust30.  When the prompt cameasking us to do something with our appearances and leave the house anyway – notbeing afraid of what other people thought of us – I knew.  I just knew Trust30 and I had to breakup. 

“It’s not me; it’s you.”Is what I would like to say in my break up speech, careful to not hurtfragile feelings.  If I want to trulystrike out as an original, embrace what is truly transcendental and all thatEmerson breathed deeply, we need to break up. Our relationship is not a healthy one. 

I hope we can stay friends, though.
C. Streetlights
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Published by C. Streetlights

I wrote and illustrated my first bestseller, "The Lovely Unicorn" in the second grade and I've been terrified of success ever since. Published by ShadowTeamsNYC and represented by Lisa Hagen Books