As I had said in the beginning of the Trust30 challenge, Ichose to participate because I needed inspiration. I needed a kick in the pants to get mewriting again. I thought daily promptsdelivered to my email every day was exactly what I needed – especially since Ihad such a greatly rewarding experience with Reverb10. However, I found the exact opposite.
The prompts were tedious. Repetitious. I would let a day orthree pass before writing to them and find myself playing catch-up. I tried to squint my eyes hard and look atthe prompt in other ways so I could be inspired in a personal way. I placed the onus on me. It had to me. Why wasn’t I having a good experience with this challenge?
I looked at the prompts at their totality. I turned them over in my hands and held themup in the light. I watched the walls tosee the rainbows that the prompts’ prisms would make yet nothing appeared. Nothing. It didn’t seem to matter how many times I turned these prompts orflipped them or caught the light in a different way, nothing appeared. No light refraction, no rainbow. No hidden beauty to be displayed.
I love Emerson and I love his inspiration in seeking out theIndividual. I honored him the best Icould in Trust30. When the prompt cameasking us to do something with our appearances and leave the house anyway – notbeing afraid of what other people thought of us – I knew. I just knew Trust30 and I had to breakup.
“It’s not me; it’s you.”Is what I would like to say in my break up speech, careful to not hurtfragile feelings. If I want to trulystrike out as an original, embrace what is truly transcendental and all thatEmerson breathed deeply, we need to break up. Our relationship is not a healthy one.
I hope we can stay friends, though.