Anxiety’s Love Letter to Time

anxiety, panic, time
Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.
I live in a panic at times. My anxiety heightens at record pace.  I hide this from most of my friends and family, not wanting anyone to know — it’s easier that way.  The anxiety and panic attacks cripple me to the point where I don’t even want to leave the house.  I drown in the air around me.

Time passes me by, in hurried flurries of bundles, rushing like holiday shoppers.  Where does it go?  Once Time is spent and gone, where it leaves us is a mystery.  It must go somewhere. And new Time?  Where do the waiting seconds and minutes pass their moments, waiting for their time to shine.  Where does Time begin?I’m surrounded by its love.   Counterintuitive to the panic, to the anxiety — which might feel like it lasts for an eternity — I know it doesn’t. Time will hold my hand, soothe my frantic heartbeats with its ticking and tocking, stroking my hair with each hour’s caress. With each swing of the pendulum, my pulse beats in time. Married for time, seconds to seconds and minutes to minutes.

Calm.
I write, delete, write, delete, write, delete.
No more. I can’t.

 

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Published by C. Streetlights

I wrote and illustrated my first bestseller, "The Lovely Unicorn" in the second grade and I've been terrified of success ever since. Published by ShadowTeamsNYC and represented by Lisa Hagen Books

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5 thoughts on “Anxiety’s Love Letter to Time”

  1. Lizzi says:

    I am impatient. Time and I are not friends. Too much of it while I’m waiting and never enough when I want to stay…

    1. C. Streetlights says:

      It is so hard to be friends with Time. I totally understand!

  2. terri says:

    Wow! I totally got this post. Thank you for putting the words together…
    :)t

  3. wholly jeanne says:

    panic attacks are the worst. love and rejoicing – those are the best. here's wishing you an avalanche of the best. only the best. xo

  4. mrs mediocrity says:

    I know I have said it is laundry, but really, time is the bane of my existence. But we can't fight it, it passes whether we acknowledge it or not, whether we try our best to hoard it or waste it frivolously. I've never had a full-out panic attack, but I know the feeling you describe, when you just want it all to stop. Life. It's so hard sometimes. But still, you gotta love it.

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