I began 2012 wanting to look on each experience with reverence. I wanted to hold moments in my hand and love them tightly so I could remember them forever. I wanted truly come to know each of my senses intimately, to see things the way my children see them and to treasure those sights. Have you ever really been in awe with life around you? To be quiet and cherish the whole of things? I was able to slow down, watch my baby girl learn to wiggle and crawl, let her enjoy splashing in the bathtub, touch sand for the first time — how she first poked the sand with one finger, dragging her finger tips back and forth taking in the texture before tiny handfuls were being tossed into the air. And my boy, listening to his creative ideas and stories, how he builds things and laughs — how his whole face lit up and sparkled when he finally conquered an upside-down roller coaster.
As for me? I listened to the loudest silence I have ever encountered in the desert watching falling stars and stood under the Milky Way. I felt so delightfully insignificant. Just the way I should.
I held moments in time this year. I have loved them deeply and have made them a part of me. And I feel reverent towards them. A profound connection to all these glimmers of life.
All of these experiences, each one, have inspired me to feel again. To feel deeply again, another reminder of my old self — a time when I laughed with my whole soul and cried with everything, too. This was a time when my eyes relentlessly sparkled, when my thoughts and feelings burned blue. I crave this part of me most of all, which is why 2013 will be the year I reclaim my passion.